Friday, June 3, 2011

Who Needs a Career?

It's probably not a huge surprise to most of you reading that I have been wanting to make a transition in my career. This Med/Surg {According to this article, I'm, apparently, the "faint-hearted"} business is seriously wearing on me on a daily basis.  I have to really pump myself up and say desperate prayers on my drive into work every day in order to just get through it. Each day is a hit or miss. Some are good, many are really busy but tolerable, and {too many} some are just downright awful. The problem is that even the "good" days, aren't really good. I have no passion for my job. I do not enjoy it and I can guarantee I'm not working to my best potential because this is not where my strengths lie.

I want to be a Certified Nurse Midwife.

There are a couple problems:
  • School--I'm terrified to go back to school. Also, more school means more money and another commitment. Basically, I'm a scaredy-cat.
  • I have no Women-Infant experience, so what if it turns out I don't love being a Midwife? What if I'm pointing myself in the wrong direction?
  • I've yet to find a way to be able to get this experience. There are few positions of this nature available here in the West Valley, and I'm pretty hesitant to even go for them because I'm afraid that, working in a hospital setting, there will be certain aspects of my job, particularly if I scored a L&D position, that I wouldn't agree with. For example, {I'm speaking in generalities, people} I'm against labor induction. Of course, there's a time and place, but it is WAY abused. Also, I think women should be active, not sedentary on a hospital bed, during their labor. Furthermore, they probably shouldn't be lying flat to deliver a baby at all {unless that's the position that seems to suit the laboring mom best}. Geez, I could go on and on, but that's really not the purpose of this post...
  • Being a Midwife entails much more responsibility and autonomy than what is presently expected of me. In truth, this sounds amazing, but the thought of it being a reality is so God-awful terrifying. There's so much pressure and I'm not sure I would be successful, you know? In fact, the more I think about it, the more it truly frightens me.
I really dislike my current job, but it's so difficult to even consider making a change. Does any of this many a bit of sense to anyone?  Goodness. Trying to wrap my mind around all of this right now is almost making me want to cry!

Life is just so tricky. I know I've said this before, and I'm certain I'll say it again, but it sure would be nice if God would give me a pretty little road map for LIFE.

Any advice?


  1. Aw, I'm sorry! I will be praying everything falls into place and that you'll know exactly what to do.
    I changed my majors 2 years in and it was a hard decision, so im sure going back now after you are finished is really tough to decide on. If it would make you happy and not dread work, it might be worth it though! Being happy is best.
    Hope you feel at peace about it soon!!

  2. Alyssa,
    Wish I could be there with you during this difficult time. Talk with your cousin Jenny and sunts Ann and Jeanne. Your aunt Ann was an OB nurse before specializing.
    I've not been a nurse but definitely understand the roller coast that a career in health care can be with the emotions sometimes. It's tough, no doubt about it. Call them'll reconnect with some of your family and get some sage advice. And another bit of advice is to not make any decisions when you are upset or angry....I've learned the hard way in my own life that can be disastrous.
    Take care dear,
    Aunt Cathy

  3. Wow. That is actually what I am in school for! Great goal.

  4. Hi! i just found your blog through Moms Are For Everyone, but wow, I can totally relate to what you are going through! I got into psychology with the basic goal of helping people and since having a child I've realized how completely draining and disheartening the field can be. Being a midwife has since become a new hope for me to be able to help and assist but in a field that see a lot more hope and happiness. The idea of redoing all the schooling is still terrifying however. Good luck with your decision!

  5. It's amazing that you a nurse to begin with. Not that I didn't think you could do it but that it takes a lot and IS a ton of pressure.

    Maybe going back to school would help you decided if you really wanted to be a midwife and if you realized you didn't it might spark something in another area that you might enjoy better. I changed totally different schools and majors and thinking about changing again to something more suited for me but if I hadn't changed, then I would've never known. You need to love what you do. And you're young enough to where if you don't love it, you can change it.

    I'll be praying for you. But I'm sure you'll make a wise decision.

    P.S. If you can't decide whether or not to go back to school think about this. You don't want to start a family and then realize it's too difficult to return to school after having a baby or two. Better to get it done now before Sydney Kristina comes ;)

  6. Alyssa! Here we area again with similar philosophies are obstetrics! How, oh how, did we miss each other those 4 yrs in nursing school? I too have a long-term goal of being a mid-wife and would love to string women's health education/prenatal education into that as well! I just applied to a L&D and Mother/Baby position in our area; however, have the same feelings as you in regards to L&D. I learned during my experience at routine check-ups and delivery that I strongly disagree and despise a lot of the things done by and to mothers in hospitals (all b/c of hospital policy/procedures and doctor convenience). Eck, you can't make me lay here and you can't use those on me, and you can't break my water without my permission just b/c that's policy after being admitted to the hospital after so many hours with no progress when I'm not even 1wk past due....what silliness! You want to hear craziness call me and I'll tell you my birthing story and the difference between doctors who love mom and baby, the delivery process and those doctors who are more inconvenienced by the idea of laboring beyond an hour and having to be patient and work with the mother/baby who have had no difficulties before or during labor! Uh, gets me all bent out of shape just thinking about it! All to say, I'm with you Alyssa!

  7. Kristi--Sydney Kristina! Oh my word, you have the best memory in the world. At first glance I thought, "what the heck?", but the next instant I remembered our awesome childhood conversations!