Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Move It, Move It

20 Weeks Y'all!

We're a movin' and a groovin' over here. Baby is moving a lot and I. Am. Loving it! Feeling my little baby's powerful kicks and even SEEING my abdomen bounce with it is so completely reassuring. My midwife appointment this morning went great. Baby's heartbeat is 160, mama's feeling good, and we decided to go ahead and schedule a mid-pregnancy ultrasound. 

Next thing to tackle: childcare. I'll be returning to work after baby arrives, so we're on the hunt for a truly great babysitter/daycare provider. I'm hoping it won't be a huge problem that I'm planning to cloth diaper my little one. So...any suggestions Huntington, IN folk???

Also...pediatrician?! Yikes.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

We're Halfway There

Whooooa livin' on a prayer! Get it? Ok.

Yesterday, while leaving work, I unexpectedly found myself in tears behind the wheel. While being tired and hormonal had a hand in it all, the main culprit was gladness. 

Tomorrow, I will be 20 weeks pregnant; halfway through pregnancy. I thought of this as I was leaving work and it was as if every thought and emotion I had felt (or suppressed) throughout this pregnancy came at me full force. I feel so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so blessed right now. This pregnancy, this baby, is such a gift. I had prayed, begged, cried to grow our family and the Lord granted us this wish. It's just amazing that my God feels I'm qualified to bring a little someone into His world. 

Next, I'm disappointed. Because of the previous sadness I've had with pregnancy, and the little scares I've had even with this little one, I've found it incredibly difficult to enjoy this pregnancy. I want nothing more than to fully embrace this special time, but I simply can't seem to work past the innate uncertainty I'm holding onto. 

I'm also terrified. I'm not terrified of the "normal" things, though. I'm not afraid of parenthood, and I'm actually really looking forward to labor (I'm sure there will be plenty of you who will make sure these words come back to haunt me). I'm terrified of the here and now. Pregnancy is frightening the shit out of me. I'm even more afraid now that I've finished with my progesterone injections. While my legs were achy bricks from those shots, they served as a bit of a lifeline; a way to feel like I was preventing bad things from happening. 

As each week passes, though, I'm so very grateful. I'm grateful for health, I'm grateful for my husband who is present and can go to appointments with me, and I'm grateful for my mom who really wants to buy me maternity clothes. Beautiful people. Beautiful life.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Hello Again

Hello again! A few people have asked to see little baby's growing size, so here you are! Over the past two weeks or so I really feel like I'm starting to look pregnant. However, I mainly think I just look...big. My midwife informed me that I have a long torso (I've never considered this to be true before. Maybe?) so maybe that has something to do with why I don't think my body has that typical pregnant shape. Who knows. It could also be that I haven't even reached halfway in the pregnancy yet. 

Other than growing a little human, waiting to hear about a new job prospect, purchasing our dream stroller set (it should be here soon!), and living with my parents, we have additional big news. We bought a house! Now, we're still in the closing process and waiting to get the official thumbs up from the bank regarding our loan, but our offer was accepted, the inspection is completed, and the seller has agreed to fix EVERYTHING we asked of them! If all goes smoothly, we should close December 21st. While there are several cosmetic changes we plan to make at some time or another, I am in love with this house. It's an old brick home built in 1900. I love it. I keep envisioning myself with my growing family living in this house over the years and it brings such a smile to my face.

Lately, Phillip and I have been researching furniture, countertops, flooring, decor, etc. I'm crazy excited about a little project that Phill has taken up. I mentioned the idea of building our own dining room table out of reclaimed wood and he really loved the idea! We were able to purchase wood from a local man who is going piece by piece through an old falling down barn. I think it's just so neat to 1) Support someone local through this little project, 2) Have something substantial that we (Phill) made, & 3) Have a piece of furniture with a known history. I really think it'll turn out beautifully!

Have a great first full week of December!