Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Off Again

Because this topic is still so fresh and saddening I figured I'd just leave a short and sweet blog post in an effort to reach everyone so I don't have to retell the story over and over.

Today I resigned from my job. It hurts because I still have a deep passion for obstetrics, but over the past week certain issues arose making it impossible for me to continue working in this position. I'm incredibly grateful to the coworkers and supervisors I only knew briefly due to my short time in this position. I know this is all pretty vague, but the details need not be shared.

Your prayers are appreciated and certainly welcomed as the future is so very uncertain for Phillip and I right now. This whole crazy situation is much more tolerable due to the love I've felt from friends and family.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Baby Brain

It's normal to expect a pregnant woman to spend a lot of time thinking about her baby and spending a good amount of spare time preparing for when baby arrives. While I actually feel I have done essentially nothing to prepare for baby being here, in the past 24 hours I entered nonstop babydom.

I've spent the past several months looking for a home, finding our home, waiting to get in our home, moving into our home, and transforming our new home. While I can't, and certainly haven't meant to, ignore my growing baby it seems as though newborn preparation has taken a backseat to the house. I want to get the house ready for baby, though, right??? Phill finished sealing off the floors tonight and I am so in love. Now, though, he has the task of sanding and re-sealing the floors that were already exposed because they were previously stained and don't match the newly exposed flooring. Poor, amazing fella. Then, you know, we just might unpack the rest of our crap and settle in to this old place. While redoing the bathroom. Sheesh.

Now that a good chunk of progress has been made, my brain has shifted focus. Alyssa is in baby mode now. Plus, I have a job were I'm surrounded by brand new babies and their new mamas! B.A.B.I.E.S. everywhere. The job is going great. The transition to night shift has gone WAY smoother than I ever anticipated. So great that it's 2:54AM and I'm wide awake watching loads of birth videos on youtube. It's like crack to me. I'm a natural labor junky.

My delay in baby planning doesn't bother me...for the most part. I really believe that baby doesn't actually require a lot of tangible preparation. Baby doesn't need all of the stuff. If baby showed up today we'd be stunned off our assess, but we'd get along alright. However, it would have been nice if I had planned childbirth classes a little sooner. The classes I'm most interested in are several weeks long so they either have already started or start too late so that I wouldn't be able to complete them all before having the baby or the class schedule simply isn't compatible with my work schedule. I hate to sound cocky, especially since I recognize that there is so much about childbirth that I can't understand without first experiencing it, but I'm not sure how beneficial many childbirth classes would be for me. I feel I have a lot of clinical and practical knowledge regarding labor and childbirth. However, I really wanted some sort of clear information for Phill. I want him to be an active participant during the delivery, but I'm afraid that without some sort of "proper" education he may become overwhelmed or feel helpless. I've been researching and finding various helpful tidbits for him so he can help me during labor.

Plus, I still need to figure out childcare and find a pediatrician! I've looked up pediatricians covered with my insurance and I'm planning to call around tomorrow to at least check that item off my to-do list.

Did you see how quickly this post became a bit of a baby ramble? I did not anticipate that many words spewing out.